The Different Levels of Listening
Listening is the key to all effective communication and is arguably one of the most important skills someone can have. But how well we do actually listen to what others are saying? In this blog, we are going to explore the different levels of listening and how by having an understanding of each level, we can improve how well we listen.
As adults, we spend a lot of our time listening. According to a study by Alder et al (2001), we spend 70% of our time engaged in some sort of communication, and 45% of that time is spent listening. That is, by any standards, a lot of time listening, therefore, ensuring we are listening effectively is a worthwhile use of our time.
Pretty much every presentation, training workshop or seminar on effective communication will make reference to a process called ‘active listening’. During these presentations, workshops and seminars, we are informed that active listening involves listening carefully, making eye contact, and occasionally repeating what the other person is saying. This is all well and good, but it’s amazing how many people can appear to be doing all this, when in reality, they’re not actually listening to a word you’re saying.
Baring this in mind, international consultant Gary Copeland wanted to delve a little deeper into the skill of listening, and came up with a Levels of Listening model.
Level -1: Unaware
Notice that the first level starts in negative figures? This is because the unaware level of listening, barely equates to a level of listening at all! We all drop into the unaware level at some point, without being aware that we’re doing it (hence the name). Have you ever come out of a meeting and not have the foggiest what was discussed? Or noticed that glazed look in someone’s eyes and realised they are not listening to a word you are saying? If so, you have experienced the unaware listener.
Level 0: Avoiding
Unlike the unaware listener, the avoiding listener is acutely aware of the person speaking, but simply does not want to hear what they have to say. People fall into this level of listening when they really do not want to engage in a conversation either with a particular person, or about a specific topic. A person may go to great lengths to avoid the person, and if cornered, will try to control the conversation by quickly changing the subject away from the uncomfortable topic they do not want to discuss.
Level 1: Arguing
Level 1 listening is divided into two forms: the deflector and the defender. As the name suggests, when the deflector is confronted, they will deflect the focus back onto the speaker:
“I’M not the problem! YOU are the problem! Things would be fine if only you would...”
Deflecting the focus in this manner only serves to escalate emotions and limits the possibility of genuine dialogue, understanding and/or successful resolution.
The defender on the other hand is very quick to correct your facts:
“That’s not how it is at all. Let me tell you what really goes on around here...”
Defenders listen with their guard up. They are expecting to be attacked or criticised, and as such, hear only what they expect to hear, whether it is actually being said or not. Either form of Level 1 listening inevitably deteriorates into an “I’m right – you’re wrong” argument.
Level 2: Negating
The Level 2 listener is always quick to act on any ‘inappropriate’ feelings that are being expressed; or in other words, any feelings that are making them feel uncomfortable. If the speaker expresses a negative emotion such as anger, sadness or disappointment, the listener may feel awkward or threatened and as a result, try to ‘dumb down’ the feelings of the speaker, or encourage them not to speak about them.
Like with Level 1 listeners, Level 2 listeners take one of two forms:
1. The self-righteous “professional” - “The office is no place for those feelings. Leave them at home.”
2. The sympathetic “helper” - “Everything will be all right. Cheer up. Don’t worry, be happy!”
Whichever form it takes, this level of listening tends to stop any further communication in its tracks.
Level 3: Advising/Hijacking
Level 3 listening, characterised by frequent interruptions, is merely listening for an opportunity to take over the conversation.
The first form of this type of listening is the advisor. The advisor eagerly waits for an opportunity to demonstrate their ability to find solutions and solve problems, e.g. “Let me tell you what you should do…”. They often assume the speaker comes to them because they trust them to know what to do. However, quite often the advisor can be too quick to come up with a solution, jumping in before the speaker has finished explaining their problem, leaving them feeling not listened to or understood. Because advisors believe they must fix the problem in order to be successful, they invariably only diagnose the kind of problems they know how to solve or have come across before.
In contrast, the hijacker is the listener who can always top your story with his or her own successes or calamities. “You think you have problems! That’s nothing! When I ran this department we had half the staff and I still had to make my quota.” This type of listener has mastered the art of shifting the attention away from the speaker and onto themselves.
Whichever form Level 3 takes, this level of listening does not create an environment where the speaker feels comfortable to disclose personal feelings or bring up even more difficult or more personal issues in the future. In fact, none of the levels discussed so far are really 'listening' at all.
Level 4: Inquiring
This is the first level which can really be defined as ‘listening’. At Level 4, the listener invites the speaker to explain their point more fully, give examples, and discuss how they feel and why. This can be a difficult thing to do, especially if the speakers emotions are heightened, and the listener feels like they are being attacked or accused of something. Inviting speakers to say more is both courageous and disarming. “I can see this is very important to you, and I want to understand fully. Please, tell me more about how you feel.”
This is a very powerful way to diffuse the emotion in a heated conversation. It changes the tone of the interaction, puts the other person at ease, and, in turn, makes them more likely to eventually listen to what you as the listener have to say as well. Notice that inviting others to say more does not imply agreement with what they are saying. You are just letting them have their say first. Here at T2, we talk quite frequently about listening with the intent to understand, and this is exactly what that is.
Level 5: Reflecting
Speaking of listening with the intent to understand, Level 5 listening is in essence, active listening. When you paraphrase and reflect back the other person’s concerns, they know they have been listened to, and more importantly, understood. Again, this does not mean that you agree with what they are saying, just that you understand their point of view. This process of reflecting permits you to clear up misunderstandings in ways that other levels of listening could never do.
In Summary: listening is a skill that a lot of us possess, but very few do well. The levels of listening highlighted in this blog will have hopefully given you an idea of which levels of listening we should try not to do, and which levels of listening we should do more of.
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